[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” overlay_color=”” video_preview_image=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” padding_right=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” center_content=”no” last=”no” min_height=”” hover_type=”none” link=””][fusion_text]

Marriage is work – what the heck does that mean?

Marriage is work.

Marriage is Work

Everybody says that marriage is work but nobody tells you what the work involves. Honestly, you could struggle for years (and lots of us have) without ever having any concrete directions on how to fix your relationship. Even if you have concrete directions, it seems impossible to change. What’s up with that? Ponder this as a possible answer:

Alan and I went to every marriage seminar, class, conference and retreat known to mankind. We read books, sought counseling and prayed but we still had a lousy relationship. We heard and read about effective communication, conflict resolution, managing anger, creating intimacy, etc., but never seemed able to implement those surefire techniques. Some of you are saying, “Wow, are they dense” but I know others of you are just as frustrated as we were. We had an arsenal of knowledge, shelves of books and a vibrant Christian commitment. What was missing? If knowledge is necessary but not sufficient for change, what is the ‘sufficient’ part? Drum roll, please

The missing ingredient that creates lasting change is ACTION, PRACTICE, actually DOING it! Does this sound too simple? Of course it does because there’s more. You have to do it correctly and you can’t quit when you fail. Notice I said when, not if, you fail. Let’s be realistic about this. Of course you’re going to fail at communicating, resolving conflict, managing anger, creating intimacy, etc. You’ve had a lot of practice at doing it wrong. Don’t give up. Talk about what went wrong and try again. If you can’t do it by yourselves, get some help.

There are no shortcuts. There is no magic pill. Marriage is work. You not only need to know proven relationship skills but you also have to practice those skills correctly and consistently and never give up. You can do it!

If you found this helpful, please share.

Autumn Ray