Marriage Olympics

Gold medal winners in the Marriage Olympics.

News Flash – Marriage Olympics Dominate the News

What if there were Marriage Olympics on the same scale as the Winter Olympics?  I have been listening to the stories of past injuries, near death experiences and life tragedies that so many of the Olympic athletes have endured.  I am amazed at their ability to recover, refocus and reap the rewards. Have you seen the faces of those Olympic medal winners? There is something contagious about the radiant smiles, the fist pumps, the victory laps and the overall exuberance. I want that experience. Don’t you?

I am never going to be an athlete, much less an Olympic athlete, but there is something in my life that I have been trying to perfect for a long time – my marriage. If I were competing in the Marriage Olympics, what events would there be? What skills would I need?


The Bi-Communicate-athon is combining two required elements for successful communication – effective listening and speaking. The goal of effective listening would be to accurately convey to your partner what you understood them to say. There would be deductions for interrupting, being defensive, trying to change their mind, looking at a cell phone, etc. The goal of effective speaking would be to tell your partner something you would like them to improve without making them mad. The judges will be looking for the following 4 elements.  1) The speaker cannot use the words “you” or “your” in their statement. 2) The speaker must accurately describe the situation or behavior that bothers them. 3) The speaker must identify how they feel about it. 4) The speaker must state how it impacts them.  Example: “I am annoyed when I see dirty clothes on the floor instead of in the hamper, because I know they won’t get picked up unless I do it.” Points are deducted for omitting any of these elements or for adding “snarky” comments, disdainful looks, rolling eyes or irritating tone.

Pairs Conflict Dancing.

This would be like an improvisational “free skate.” Couples would draw a real life scenario out of a hat – something that is currently a conflict in their own marriage – and they would solve it in front of the judges. The goal of this event is to reach a solution where both partners feel like winners and the solution actually works. Deductions are given for raised voices flushed faces, swearing, name calling, walking away. You get the idea.

As I conjure up other events there could be the Downhill Super A where couples demonstrate anger management. Another could be the Short Account Speed Forgiveness event where couples demonstrate the ability to overlook their partner’s faults and to quickly forgive,  I come to the realization that a marriage coach is a necessity. Olympic athletes have a coach who watches their performance, helps them improve, encourages them in a slump and celebrates when they succeed.  That’s exactly what marriage coaches do.

A good marriage coach will teach you the skills required for a successful relationship, will observe as you practice the skills, will help you improve, will encourage you when you mess up (and who doesn’t) and will celebrate when you win gold in the Marriage Olympics. There are many competitors in the Marriage Olympics and you stand a much better chance of winning if you work with a great coach.  To request a coach, click here.

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Autumn Ray