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I desperately wanted to offer hope to this couple. Dad, Mom, daughter about 10, and toddler were having pizza at the table next to us. I watched the interaction of Dad comforting the fussy toddler, but barking orders at 10 year old. Mom didn’t get involved at all. Eventually the daughter sat sullenly in the corner of the booth, toddler was busy eating and Dad and Mom began arguing.
Dad: “Yeah, that’s right, we NEVER talk anymore. That’s because all you want to do is criticize. Why would I want to talk to someone who criticizes me all the time?”
Mom: “Did you hear the way you talked to her (referring to daughter)?” It’s no wonder she doesn’t want to be around you. You always go off at her about everything she does.”
We couldn’t help but overhear this exchange. Of course, I felt sorry for the 10 year old but I also had compassion for those parents. They just didn’t know how to talk to each other or to resolve conflict. I’m pretty sure they don’t want to be like this. They just don’t know how to change. Heck, Alan and I used to be just like that couple.
Offer Hope
We finished our dinner and began walking to the car. Alan turned abruptly and went back into the restaurant. I thought he might have forgotten the tip. When he returned to the car he told me that he went back to talk to that couple. He told them he couldn’t help but overhear their conversation and he wanted them to know that we used to be just like them. He gave them our card – MarriageTeam.org – and told them we had marriage coaches who wanted to help them change their relationship. There was no criticism, blame, or accusations. He offered hope with love and compassion. Isn’t my husband amazing?
If you want to offer hope and help to troubled couples, please share.
by Autumn Ray
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